finishherbreakfastasshecould.
“Itisover!itisover!”sherepeatedtoherselfagainandagain,innervousgratitude.“Theworstisover!”
Marytalked,butshecouldnotattend.Shehadseenhim.Theyhadmet.Theyhadbeenoncemoreinthesameroom.
Soon,however,shebegantoreasonwithherself,andtrytobefeelingless.Eightyears,almosteightyearshadpassed,sinceallhadbeengivenup.Howabsurdtoberesumingtheagitationwhichsuchanintervalhadbanishedintodistanceandindistinctness!Whatmightnoteightyearsdo?Eventsofeverydescription,changes,alienations,removals—all,allmustbecomprisedinit,andoblivionofthepast—hownatural,howcertaintoo!Itincludednearlyathirdpartofherownlife.
Alas!withallherreasoning,shefound,thattoretentivefeelingseightyearsmaybelittlemorethannothing.
Now,howwerehissentimentstoberead?Wasthislikewishingtoavoidher?Andthenextmomentshewashatingherselfforthefollywhichaskedthequestion.
Ononeotherquestionwhichperhapsherutmostwisdommightnothaveprevented,shewassoonsparedallsuspensefor,aftertheMissMusgroveshadreturnedandfinishedtheirvisitattheCottageshehadthisspontaneousinformationfromMary:—
“CaptainWentworthisnotverygallantbyyou,Anne,thoughhewassoattentivetome.Henriettaaskedhimwhathethoughtofyou,whentheywentaway,andhesaid,‘Youweresoalteredheshouldnothaveknownyouagain.’”
Maryhadnofeelingstomakeherrespecthersister’sinacommonway,butshewasperfectlyunsuspiciousofbeinginflictinganypeculiarwound.
“Alteredbeyondhisknowledge.”Annefullysubmitted,insilent,deepmortification.Doubtlessitwasso,andshecouldtakenorevenge,forhewasnotaltered,ornotfortheworse.Shehadalreadyacknowledgedittoherself,andshecouldnotthinkdifferently,lethimthinkofherashewould.No:theyearswhichhaddestroyedheryouthandbloomhadonlygivenhimamoreglowing,manly,openlook,innorespectlesseninghispersonaladvantages.ShehadseenthesameFrederickWentworth.
“Soalteredthatheshouldnothaveknownheragain!”Thesewerewordswhichcouldnotbutdwellwithher.Y