emotenessfromitssymbols,anditsmetaphorsandtropesarenecessarilysofarfetched,throughslidesanddumb-waiters,asitwereinotherwords,theparlorissofarfromthekitchenandworkshop.Thedinnerevenisonlytheparableofadinner,commonly.AsifonlythesavagedweltnearenoughtoNatureandTruthtoborrowatropefromthem.Howcanthescholar,whodwellsawayintheNorthWestTerritoryortheIsleofMan,tellwhatisparliamentaryinthekitchen?
However,onlyoneortwoofmyguestswereeverboldenoughtostayandeatahasty-puddingwithmebutwhentheysawthatcrisisapproachingtheybeatahastyretreatrather,asifitwouldshakethehousetoitsfoundations.Nevertheless,itstoodthroughagreatmanyhasty-puddings.
Ididnotplastertillitwasfreezingweather.Ibroughtoversomewhiterandcleanersandforthispurposefromtheoppositeshoreofthepondinaboat,asortofconveyancewhichwouldhavetemptedmetogomuchfartherifnecessary.Myhousehadinthemeanwhilebeenshingleddowntothegroundoneveryside.InlathingIwaspleasedtobeabletosendhomeeachnailwithasingleblowofthehammer,anditwasmyambitiontotransfertheplasterfromtheboardtothewallneatlyandrapidly.Irememberedthestoryofaconceitedfellow,who,infineclothes,waswonttoloungeaboutthevillageonce,givingadvicetoworkmen.Venturingonedaytosubstitutedeedsforwords,heturneduphiscuffs,seizedaplasterer’sboard,andhavingloadedhistrowelwithoutmishap,withacomplacentlooktowardthelathingoverhead,madeaboldgesturethitherwardandstraightway,tohiscompletediscomfiture,receivedthewholecontentsinhisruffledbosom.Iadmiredanewtheeconomyandconvenienceofplastering,whichsoeffectuallyshutsoutthecoldandtakesahandsomefinish,andIlearnedthevariouscasualtiestowhichtheplastererisliable.IwassurprisedtoseehowthirstythebrickswerewhichdrankupallthemoistureinmyplasterbeforeIhadsmoothedit,andhowmanypailfulsofwaterittakestochristenanewhearth.IhadthepreviouswintermadeasmallquantityoflimebyburningtheshellsoftheUniofluviatilis,whichourriveraffords,forthesakeoftheexperimentsothatIknewwheremymaterialscamefrom.Imighthavegotgoodlimestonewithinamileortwoandburneditmyself,ifIhadcaredtodoso.
Thepondhadinthemeanwhileskimmedoverintheshadiestandshallowestcoves,somedaysorevenweeksbeforethegeneralfreezing.Thefirsticeisespeciallyinterestingandperfect,beinghard,dark,andtransparent,andaffordsthebestopportunitythateveroffersforexaminingthebottomwhereitisshallowforyoucanlieatyourlengthoniceonlyaninchthick,likeaskaterinsectonthesurfaceofthewater,andstudythebottomatyourleisure,onlytwoorthreeinchesdistant,likeapicturebehindaglass,andthewaterisnecessarilyalwayssmooththen.Therearemanyfurrowsinthesandwheresomecreaturehastravel