sentinels.Somegivedirectionstobewakedeveryhalfhour,doubtlessfornootherpurposeandthen,topayforit,theytellwhattheyhavedreamed.Afteranight’ssleepthenewsisasindispensableasthebreakfast.“Praytellmeanythingnewthathashappenedtoamananywhereonthisglobe,”—andhereadsitoverhiscoffeeandrolls,thatamanhashadhiseyesgougedoutthismorningontheWachitoRiverneverdreamingthewhilethathelivesinthedarkunfathomedmammothcaveofthisworld,andhasbuttherudimentofaneyehimself.
Formypart,Icouldeasilydowithoutthepost-office.Ithinkthatthereareveryfewimportantcommunicationsmadethroughit.Tospeakcritically,Ineverreceivedmorethanoneortwolettersinmylife—Iwrotethissomeyearsago—thatwereworththepostage.Thepenny-postis,commonly,aninstitutionthroughwhichyouseriouslyofferamanthatpennyforhisthoughtswhichissooftensafelyofferedinjest.AndIamsurethatIneverreadanymemorablenewsinanewspaper.Ifwereadofonemanrobbed,ormurdered,orkilledbyaccident,oronehouseburned,oronevesselwrecked,oronesteamboatblownup,oronecowrunoverontheWesternRailroad,oronemaddogkilled,oronelotofgrasshoppersinthewinter,—weneverneedreadofanother.Oneisenough.Ifyouareacquaintedwiththeprinciple,whatdoyoucareforamyriadinstancesandapplications?Toaphilosopherallnews,asitiscalled,isgossip,andtheywhoeditandreaditareoldwomenovertheirtea.Yetnotafewaregreedyafterthisgossip.Therewassucharush,asIhear,theotherdayatoneoftheofficestolearntheforeignnewsbythelastarrival,thatseverallargesquaresofplateglassbelongingtotheestablishmentwerebrokenbythepressure,—newswhichIseriouslythinkareadywitmightwriteatwelve-month,ortwelveyears,beforehandwithsufficientaccuracy.AsforSpain,forinstance,ifyouknowhowtothrowinDonCarlosandtheInfanta,andDonPedroandSevilleandGranada,fromtimetotimeintherightproportions,—theymayhavechangedthenamesalittlesinceIsawthepapers,—andserveupabull-fightwhenotherentertainmentsfail,itwillbetruetotheletter,andgiveusasgoodanideaoftheexactstateorruinofthingsinSpainasthemostsuccinctandlucidreportsunderthisheadinthenewspapers:andasforEngland,almostthelastsignificantscrapofnewsfromthatquarterwastherevolutionof1649andifyouhavelearnedthehistoryofhercropsforanaverageyear,youneverneedattendtothatthingagain,unlessyourspeculationsareofamerelypecuniarycharacter.Ifonemayjudgewhorarelylooksintothenewspapers,nothingnewdoeseverhappeninforeignparts,aFrenchrevolutionnotexcepted.
Whatnews!howmuchmoreimportanttoknowwhatthatiswhichwasneverold!“Kieou-he-yu(greatdignitaryofthestateofWei)sentamantoKhoung-tseutoknowhisnews.Khoung-tseucausedthemessengertobeseatednearhim,andquestionedhimintheseterms:Whatisyourmasterdoing?Themessengeransweredwithrespect:Mymasterdesirestodiminishthenumberofhisfaults,buthecannotcometotheendofthem.Them