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Chapter XX

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    BUTthelovewhichhadtakensuchdespoticpossessionofBertha’snaturecouldnotbeoverthrownbyanysuddenmeans.Whensherecoveredherhealthandwasabletoresumeherhabits,itblazedoutagainlikeafire,momentarilysubdued,whichhasgainednewstrengthinitscoercion.ItdismayedhertothinkofherextremelonelinessEdwardwasnowheronlymainstayandheronlyhope.Shenolongersoughttodenythathislovewasunlikehersbuthiscoldnesswasnotalwaysapparentvehementlywishingtofindaresponsetoherardour,sheclosedhereyestoallthatdidnottooreadilyobtrudeitself.ShehadsuchaconsumingdesiretofindinEdwardtheloverofherdreams,thatforcertainperiodsshewasindeedabletoliveinafool’sparadise,whichwasnonethelessgratefulbecauseatthebottomofherheartshehadanachingsuspicionofitstruecharacter. ButitseemedthatthemorepassionatelyBerthayearnedforherhusband’slove,themorefrequentbecametheirdifferences.Astimewentonthecalmbetweenthestormswasshorter,andeveryquarrelleftitsmark,andmadeBerthamoresusceptibletoaffront.Realizing,finally,thatEdwardcouldnotanswerherdemonstrationsofaffection,shebecametentimesmoreexactingeventhelittletendernesseswhichatthebeginningofhermarriedlifewouldhaveoverjoyedher,nowtoomuchresembledalmsthrowntoanimportunatebeggar,tobereceivedwithanythingbutirritation.Theiraltercationsprovedconclusivelythatitdoesnotrequiretwopersonstomakeaquarrel.Edwardwasamodelofgood-temper,andhisequanimitywasimperturbable.HowevercrossBerthawas,Edwardneverlosthisserenity.Heimaginedthatshewastroublingoverthelossofherchild,andthatherhealthwasnotentirelyrestored:ithadbeenhisexperience,especiallywithcows,thatadifficultconfinementfrequentlygaverisetosometemporarychangeindisposition,sothatthemostdocileanimalintheworldwouldsuddenlydevelopanunexpectedviciousness.HenevertriedtounderstandBertha’svariedmoodsherpassionatedesireforlovewastohimasunreasonableasheroutburstsoftemperandthesucceedingcontrition.Now,Edwardwasalwaysthesame—contentedequallywiththeuniverseatlargeandwithhimselftherewasnoshadowofa
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