nderstandthatitisn’tapassingwhim?It’sdreadfullyserioustome—I’vebornethemiserytillIcanbearitnolonger.Youmusthelpmetogetaway.Ifyouhaveanyofyouroldaffectionforme,dowhatyoucan.IwanttogoawaybutIdon’twanttohaveanymorerowswithEdwardIjustwanttoleavehimquietly.It’snogoodtryingtomakehimunderstandthatwe’reincompatible.Hethinksthatit’senoughformyhappinessjusttobehiswife.He’sofiron,andIampitifullyweak....Iusedtothinkmyselfsostrong!”
“AmItotakeitthatyou’reabsolutelyserious?Doyouwanttotaketheextremestepofseparatingfromyourhusband?”
“It’sanextremestepthatI’vetakenbefore.LasttimeIwentwithaflourishoftrumpets,butnowIwanttogowithoutanyfussatall.IstilllovedEdwardthen,butIhaveevenceasedtohatehim.Oh,IknewIwasafooltocomeback,butIcouldn’thelpit.Heaskedmetoreturn,andIdid.”
“Well,Idon’tknowwhatIcandoforyou.Ican’thelpthinkingthatifyouwaitalittlethingswillgetbetter.”
“Ican’twaitanylonger.I’vewaitedtoolong.I’mlosingmywholelife.”
“Whydon’tyougoawayforafewmonths,andthenyoucansee?MissLeyisgoingtoItalyforthewinterasusual,isn’tshe?Uponmyword,Ithinkitwoulddoyougoodtogotoo.”
“Idon’tmindwhatIdosolongasIcangetaway.I’msufferingtoomuch.”
“HaveyouthoughtthatEdwardwillmissyou?”askedDr.Ramsay,gravely.
“No,hewon’t.Goodheavens,don’tyouthinkIknowhimbynow?Iknowhimthroughandthrough.Andhe’scallous,andselfish,andstupid.Andhe’smakingmelikehimself....Oh,Dr.Ramsay,pleasehelpme.”
“DoesMissLeyknow?”askedthedoctor,rememberingwhatshehadtoldhimonhervisittoCourtLeys.
“No,I’msureshedoesn’t.Shethinksweadoreoneanother.AndIdon’twanthertoknow.I’msuchacowardnow.YearsagoInevercaredastrawforwhatanyoneintheworldthoughtofmebutmyspiritisutterlybroken.Oh,getmeawayfromhere,Dr.Ramsay,getmeaway.”
Sheburstintotears,weepingasshehadbeenlongunaccustomedtodoshewasutterlyexhaustedaftertheoutburstofallthatforyearsshehadkepthid.