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Chapter XXXVI

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    ALONEinherroomoncemore,memoriesofthepastcrowdeduponher.ThelastyearsfledfromhermindandBerthasawvividlyagainthefirstdaysofherlove,thevisittoEdwardathisfarm,thenightatthegateofCourtLeyswhenheaskedhertomarryhim.Sherecalledtherapturewithwhichshehadflungherselfintohisarms.ForgettingtherealEdwardwhohadjustdied,sherememberedthetallstrongyouthwhohadmadeherfaintwithloveandherpassionreturned,overwhelming.Onthechimney-piecestoodaphotographofEdwardashewasthenithadbeenbeforeherforyears,butshehadnevernoticedit.Shetookitandpressedittoherheart,andkissedit.Athousandthingscamebackandshesawhimagainstandingbeforeherashewas,manly,strong,sothatshefelthisloveaprotectionagainstalltheworld. Butwhatwastheusenow? “IshouldbemadifIbegantolovehimagainwhenitistoolate.” Berthawasappalledbytheregretwhichshefeltrisingwithinher,adevilthatwrungherheartinanirongrip.Oh,shecouldnotriskthepossibilityofgrief,shehadsufferedtoomuchandshemustkillinherselfthespringsofpain.Shedarednotleavethingswhichinfutureyearsmightbethefoundationsofanewidolatry.Heronlychanceofpeacewastodestroyeverythingthatmightrecallhim. Sheseizedthephotographandwithoutdaringtolookagain,withdrewitfromtheframeandrapidlytoreitinpieces.Shelookedroundtheroom. “Imusn’tleaveanything,”shemuttered. ShesawonatableanalbumcontainingpicturesofEdwardatallages,thechildwithlongcurls,theurchininknickerbockers,theschoolboy,theloverofherheart.ShehadpersuadedhimtobephotographedinLondonduringtheirhoneymoon,andhewasthereinhalf-a-dozendifferentpositions.Berthathoughtherheartwouldbreakasshedestroyedthemonebyone,anditneededallthestrengthshehadtopreventherfromcoveringthemwithpassionatekisses.Herfingersachedwiththetearing,butinalittlewhiletheyw
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