THEREisaclimaxtoeverything,toeverystateoffeelingaswellastoeverypositioninlife.Iturnedthistruismoverinmymindas,inthefrostydawnofaJanuarymorning,IhurrieddownthesteepandnowicystreetwhichdescendedfromMrs.King’stotheClose.Thefactoryworkpeoplehadprecededmebynearlyanhour,andthemillwasalllightedupandinfulloperationwhenIreachedit.Irepairedtomypostinthecounting-houseasusualthefirethere,butjustlit,asyetonlysmokedSteightonhadnotyetarrived.Ishutthedoorandsatdownatthedeskmyhands,recentlywashedinhalf-frozenwater,werestillnumbIcouldnotwritetilltheyhadregainedvitality,soIwentonthinking,andstillthethemeofmythoughtswasthe“climax.”Self-dissatisfactiontroubledexceedinglythecurrentofmymeditations.
“Come,WilliamCrimsworth,”saidmyconscience,orwhateveritisthatwithinourselvestakesourselvestotask—“come,getaclearnotionofwhatyouwouldhave,orwhatyouwouldnothave.Youtalkofaclimaxprayhasyourendurancereacheditsclimax?Itisnotfourmonthsold.WhatafineresolutefellowyouimaginedyourselftobewhenyoutoldTynedaleyouwouldtreadinyourfather’ssteps,andaprettytreadingyouarelikelytomakeofit!HowwellyoulikeX——!Justatthismomenthowredolentofpleasantassociationsareitsstreets,itsshops,itswarehouses,itsfactories!Howtheprospectofthisdaycheersyou!Letter-copyingtillnoon,solitarydinneratyourlodgings,letter-copyingtillevening,solitudeforyouneitherfindpleasureinBrown’s,norSmith’s,norNicholl’s,norEccle’scompanyandastoHunsden,youfanciedtherewaspleasuretobederivedfromhissociety—he!he!howdidyoulikethetasteyouhadofhimlastnight?wasitsweet?Yetheisatalented,anoriginal-mindedman,andevenhedoesnotlikeyouyourself-respectdefiesyoutolikehimhehasalwaysseenyoutodisadvantagehealwayswillseeyoutodisadvantageyourpositionsareunequal,andweretheyonthesamelevelyourmindscouldnotassimila