withhardnessandindifference:shealmostcringedtomeoneveryoccasionsheconsultedmycountenanceincessantly,andbesetmewithinnumerablelittleofficiousattentions.Servilitycreatesdespotism.Thisslavishhomage,insteadofsofteningmyheart,onlypamperedwhateverwassternandexactinginitsmood.Theverycircumstanceofherhoveringroundmelikeafascinatedbird,seemedtotransformmeintoarigidpillarofstoneherflatteriesirritatedmyscorn,herblandishmentsconfirmedmyreserve.AttimesIwonderedwhatshemeantbygivingherselfsuchtroubletowinme,whenthemoreprofitablePeletwasalreadyinhernets,andwhen,too,shewasawarethatIpossessedhersecret,forIhadnotscrupledtotellherasmuch:butthefactisthatasitwashernaturetodoubttherealityandunder-valuetheworthofmodesty,affection,disinterestedness—toregardthesequalitiesasfoiblesofcharacter—soitwasequallyhertendencytoconsiderpride,hardness,selfishness,asproofsofstrength.Shewouldtrampleontheneckofhumility,shewouldkneelatthefeetofdisdainshewouldmeettendernesswithsecretcontempt,indifferenceshewouldwoowithceaselessassiduities.Benevolence,devotedness,enthusiasm,wereherantipathiesfordissimulationandself-interestshehadapreference—theywererealwisdominhereyesmoralandphysicaldegradation,mentalandbodilyinferiority,sheregardedwithindulgencetheywerefoilscapableofbeingturnedtogoodaccountasset-offsforherownendowments.Toviolence,injustice,tyranny,shesuccumbed—theywerehernaturalmastersshehadnopropensitytohate,noimpulsetoresistthemtheindignationtheirbehestsawakeinsomeheartswasunknowninhers.Fromallthisitresultedthatthefalseandselfishcalledherwise,thevulgaranddebasedtermedhercharitable,theinsolentandunjustdubbedheramiable,theconscientiousandbenevolentgenerallyatfirstacceptedasvalidherclaimtobeconsideredoneofthemselvesbuterelongtheplatingofpretensionworeoff,therealmaterialappearedbelow,andtheylaidherasideasadeception.