72EliotMansions,Chelsea,S.W.
April18.
DearEdward,—Ithinkwewerewisetopart.Weweretoounsuitedtooneanother,andourdifficultiescouldonlyhaveincreased.Theknotofmarriagebetweentwopersonsofdifferingtemperamentsissointricatethatitcanonlybecut:youmaytrytounravelit,andthinkyouaresucceeding,butanotherturnshowsyouthatthetangleisonlyworsethanever.Eventimeispowerless.Somethingsareimpossibleyoucannotheapwateruplikestones,youcannotmeasureonemanbyanotherman’srule.Iamcertainwewerewisetoseparate.Iseethatifwehadcontinuedtolivetogetherourquarrelswouldhaveperpetuallyincreased.Itishorribletolookbackuponthosevulgarbrawls—wewrangledlikefishwives.Icannotunderstandhowmymouthcouldhaveutteredsuchthings.
Itisverybittertolookbackandcomparemyanticipationswithwhathasreallyhappened.DidIexpecttoomuchfromlife?Ahme,Ionlyexpectedthatmyhusbandwouldloveme.ItisbecauseIaskedsolittlethatIhavereceivednothing.Inthisworldyoumustaskmuch,youmustspreadyourpraisesabroad,youmusttrampleunder-footthosewhostandinyourpath,youmusttakeupalltheroomyoucanoryouwillbeelbowedawayyoumustbeirredeemablyselfish,oryouwillbeathingofnoaccount,afripperythatmanplayswithandflingsaside.
OfcourseIexpectedtheimpossible,IwasnotsatisfiedwiththeconventionalunityofmarriageIwantedtobereallyonewithyou.Oneselfisthewholeworld,andallotherpeoplearemerelystrangers.Atfirstinmyvehementdesire,IusedtodespairbecauseIknewyousolittleIwasheartbrokenattheimpossibilityofreallyunderstandingyou,ofgettingrightdownintoyourheartofhearts.Never,tothebestofmyknowledge,haveIseenyourveritableselfyouarenearlyasmuchastrangertomeasifIhadknownyoubutanhour.Ibaredmysoultoyou,concealingnothing—thereisinyouamanIdonotknowandhaveneverseen.Wearesoabsolutelydifferent,Idon’tknowasinglethingthatwe