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Chapter XXXV

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    ence.Itwasthesameindifferencethatchilledherheartnow. Herlifeseemedallwastedwhenshecomparedhermaddesireforhappinesswiththemiseryshehadactuallyendured.Bertha’smanyhopesstoodoutlikephantoms,andshelookedatthemdespairingly.Shehadexpectedsomuchandsecuredsolittle.Shefeltaterriblepainatherheartassheconsideredallshehadgonethrough.Herstrengthfellaway,andovercomebyherownself-pity,shesanktoherkneesandburstintotears. “Oh,God!”shecried,“whathaveIdonethatIshouldhavebeensounhappy?” Shesobbedaloud,notcaringtorestrainhergrief.MissGlover,goodsoul,waswaitingoutsidetheroomincaseBerthawantedher,cryingsilently.Sheknockedagainwhensheheardtheimpetuoussobswithin. “Oh,Bertha,doletmein.You’retormentingyourselfsomuchmorebecauseyouwon’tseeanybody.” Berthadraggedherselftoherfeetandundidthedoor.MissGloverentered,andthrowingoffallreserveinheroverwhelmingsympathy,claspedBerthatoherheart. “Oh,mydear,mydear,it’sutterlydreadfulI’msosorryforyou.Idon’tknowwhattosay.Icanonlypray.” Berthasobbedunrestrainedly—notbecauseEdwardwasdead. “AllyouhavenowisGod,”saidMissGlover. AtlastBerthatoreherselfawayanddriedhereyes. “Don’ttryandbetoobrave,Bertha,”compassionatelysaidtheVicar’ssister.“Itwilldoyougoodtocry.Hewassuchagood,kindman,andhelovedyousodevotedly.” Berthalookedatherinsilence. “Imustbehorriblycruel,”shethought. “DoyoumindifIstayhereto-night,dear,”addedMissGlover.“I’vesentwordtoCharles.” “Oh,no,pleasedon’t.Ifyoucareforme,Fanny,letmebealone.Idon’twanttobeunkind,butIcan’tbeartoseeanyone.” MissGloverwasdeeplypained.“Idon’twanttobeintheway.Ifyoureallywishmetogo,I’llgo.” “IfeelifIcan’tbealone,Ishallgomad.” “WouldyouliketoseeCharles?” “No,dear.Don’tbeangry.Don’tthinkmeunkindorungrateful,butIwantnothingbuttobeleftentirelybymyself.”
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