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Chapter 4

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    atchingherforhours,puzzledandanxious,butnotcontrite. “It’snothing.”Shewentinandtoreitup,andthenbegantowrite—averyshortletter,whosegistwas“Comeandsaveme.” Itisnotgoodtoseeyourwifecryingwhenshewrites—especiallyifyouareconsciousthat,onthewhole,yourtreatmentofherhasbeenreasonableandkind.Itisnotgood,whenyouaccidentallylookoverhershoulder,toseethatsheiswritingtoaman.Norshouldsheshakeherfistatyouwhensheleavestheroom,undertheimpressionthatyouareengagedinlightingacigarandcannotseeher. Liliawenttothepostherself.ButinItalysomanythingscanbearranged.ThepostmanwasafriendofGino’s,andMr.Kingcroftnevergothisletter. Soshegaveuphope,becameill,andallthroughtheautumnlayinbed.Ginowasdistracted.Sheknewwhyhewantedason.Hecouldtalkandthinkofnothingelse.Hisonedesirewastobecomethefatherofamanlikehimself,anditheldhimwithagripheonlypartiallyunderstood,foritwasthefirstgreatdesire,thefirstgreatpassionofhislife.Fallinginlovewasamerephysicaltriviality,likewarmsunorcoolwater,besidethisdivinehopeofimmortality:“Icontinue.”HegavecandlestoSantaDeodata,forhewasalwaysreligiousatacrisis,andsometimeshewenttoherhimselfandprayedthecrudeuncouthdemandsofthesimple.Impetuouslyhesummonedallhisrelativesbacktobearhimcompanyinhistimeofneed,andLiliasawstrangefacesflittingpastherinthedarkenedroom. “Mylove!”hewouldsay,“mydearestLilia!Becalm.Ihaveneverlovedanyonebutyou.” She,knowingeverything,wouldonlysmilegently,toobrokenbysufferingtomakesarcasticrepartees. Beforethechildwasbornhegaveherakiss,andsaid,“Ihaveprayedallnightforaboy.” Somestrangelytenderimpulsemovedher,andshesaidfaintly,“Youareaboyyourself,Gino.” Heanswered,“Thenweshallbebrothers.” Helayoutsidetheroomwithhisheadagainstthedoorlikeadog.Whentheycametotellhimthegladnewstheyfoundhimhalfunconscious,andhisfacewaswetwithtears. AsforLilia,someonesaidtoher,“Itisabeautifulboy!”Butshehaddiedingivingbirthtohim.
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