atthebreachbetweenherandourselvesisnowentirelyhealed.”
“Didsheasknoquestions—astothenatureofLilia’sdeath,Imean?”
“Shedid.Butshehasamindofextraordinarydelicacy.ShesawthatIwasreticent,andshedidnotpressme.Yousee,Philip,IcansaytoyouwhatIcouldnotsaybeforeHarriet.Herideasaresocrude.ReallywedonotwantitknowninSawstonthatthereisababy.Allpeaceandcomfortwouldbelostifpeoplecameinquiringafterit.”
Hismotherknewhowtomanagehim.Heagreedenthusiastically.Andafewdayslater,whenhechancedtotraveluptoLondonwithMissAbbott,hehadallthetimethepleasantthrillofonewhoisbetterinformed.TheirlastjourneytogetherhadbeenfromMonterianobackacrossEurope.Ithadbeenaghastlyjourney,andPhilip,fromtheforceofassociation,ratherexpectedsomethingghastlynow.
Hewassurprised.MissAbbott,betweenSawstonandCharingCross,revealedqualitieswhichhehadneverguessedhertopossess.Withoutbeingexactlyoriginal,shedidshowacommendableintelligence,andthoughattimesshewasgaucheandevenuncourtly,hefeltthatherewasapersonwhomitmightbewelltocultivate.
Atfirstsheannoyedhim.Theyweretalking,ofcourse,aboutLilia,whenshebrokethethreadofvaguecommiserationandsaidabruptly,“Itisallsostrangeaswellassotragic.AndwhatIdidwasasstrangeasanything.”
Itwasthefirstreferenceshehadevermadetohercontemptiblebehaviour.“Nevermind,”hesaid.“It’sallovernow.Letthedeadburytheirdead.It’sfallenoutofourlives.”
“Butthat’swhyIcantalkaboutitandtellyoueverythingIhavealwayswantedto.Youthoughtmestupidandsentimentalandwickedandmad,butyouneverreallyknewhowmuchIwastoblame.”
“IndeedIneverthinkaboutitnow,”saidPhilipgently.Heknewthathernaturewasinthemaingenerousandupright:itwasunnecessaryforhertorevealherthoughts.
“ThefirsteveningwegottoMonteriano,”shepersisted,“Liliawentoutforawalkalone,sawthatItalianinapicturesquepositiononawall,andfellinlove.Hewasshabbilydressed,andshedidnotevenknowhewasthesonofadentist.ImusttellyouIwasusedtothissortofthing.OnceortwicebeforeIhadhadtosendpeopleabouttheirbusiness.”
“Yeswecountedonyou,”saidPhilip,withsuddensharpness.Afterall,ifshewouldrevealherthoughts,shemusttaketheconsequences.
“Iknowyoudid,”sheretortedwithequalsharpness.“Liliasawhimseveraltimesagain,andIknewIoughttointerfere.Icalledhertomybedroomonenight.Shewasveryfrightened,forsheknewwhatitwasaboutandhowsevereIcouldbe.‘Doyoulovethisman?’Iasked.‘Yesorno?’Shesaid‘Yes.’AndIsaid,‘Whydon’tyoumarryhimifyouthinkyou’llbehappy?’”
“Really—really,”explodedPhilip,asexasperatedasifthethinghadhappenedyesterday.“YouknewLiliaallyourlife.Apartfromeverythingelse—asifshecouldchoosewhatcouldmakeherhappy!”
“Hadyoueverletherchoose?”sheflashedout.“I’mafraidthat’srude,”sheadded,tryingtocalmherself.
“Letusrathersayunhappilyexpressed,”saidPhilip,whoalwaysadoptedadrysatiricalmannerwhenhewaspuzzled.
“Iwanttofinish.NextmorningIfoundSignorCarellaandsaidthesametohim.He—well,hewaswilling.That’sall.”
“Andthetelegram?”Helookedscornfullyoutofthewindow.
Hithertohervoicehadbeenhard,possiblyinself-accusation,possiblyindefiance.Nowitbecameunmistakablysad.“Ah,thetelegram!Thatwaswrong.LiliatherewasmorecowardlythanIwas.Weshouldhavetoldthetruth.Itlostmemynerve,atallevents.Icametothest