OnedayinthespringIcametotheterracewhichoverlookstheplain,andasIsatdowntowarmmyselfinthesunshine,gazingatthebroadcountrywhichnowIknewsowell,andthedistanthills,thewishcametometowritethehistoryofmylife. Andnowthat,too,isdone.IhavenothingmoretotellexceptthatfromthedaywhenIarrived,wearyofsoul,tothecoolshadeofthefirtrees,Ihavenevergoneintotheworldagain.IgavemylandsandpalacestomybrotherinthehopethathewouldmakebetteruseofhislifethanI,andtohimIgavethechargeofseeingthatheirsweregiventotheancientname.IknewIhadfailedineverything.Mylifehadgonewrong,IknownotwhyandIhadnotthecouragetoadventurefurther.Iwithdrewfromthebattleinmyunfitness,andlettheworldpassonandforgetmypoorexistence. Checcolivedon,schemingandintriguing,wearingawayhislifeinattemptstoregainhisfatherland,andalwayshewasdisappointed,alwayshishopesfrustrated,tillatlasthedespaired.Andaftersixyears,wornoutwithhisfruitlessefforts,mourningthegreatnesshehadlost,andpiningforthecountryhelovedsowell,hediedofabrokenheart,anexile. Matteowentbacktohisarmsandtherecklesslifeofthesoldieroffortune,andwaskilledbravelyfightingagainsttheforeigninvader,anddied,knowingthathisefforts,too,hadbeeninvain,andthatthesweetlandofItalylayfallenandenslaved. AndIdonotknowwhethertheyhadnotthebetterlotfortheyareatpeace,whileI—Ipursuemylonelypilgrimagethroughlife,andthegoaliseverfaroff.Nowitcannotbemuchlonger,mystrengthisfailing,andsoonIshallhavethepeaceIwishedfor.OhGod,IdonotaskYouforcrownsofgoldandheavenlyraiment,Idonotaspiretotheblisswhichistheportionofthesaint,butgivemerest.WhenthegreatReleasecomes,givemerestletmesleepthelongsleepwithoutawakening,sothatatlastImayforgetandbeatpeace.OGod,givemerest! Often,asItrudgedalongtheroadsbarefootedtogatherfoodandalms,haveIwishedtolaymyselfintheditchbythewaysideanddie.SometimesIhaveheardthebeatingofthewingsoftheAngelofDeathbuthehastakenthestrongandthehappy,andleftmetowanderon. ThegoodmantoldmeIshouldreceivehappinessIhavenotevenreceivedforgetfulness.Igoalongtheroadsthinkingofmylifeandthelovethatruinedme.Ah!howweakIambut,forgiveme,Icannothelpmyself!SometimeswhenIhavebeenabletodogoodIhavefeltastrangedelight,Ihavefelttheblessedjoyofcharity.AndIlovemypeople,thepoorfolkofthecountryround.Theycometomeintheirtroubles,andwhenIcanhelpthemIsharetheirpleasure.ButthatisallIhave.Ah!minehasbeenauselesslife,IhavewasteditandifoflateIhavedonealittlegoodtomyfellowmen,alas!howlittle! Ibearmysoulinpatience,butsometimesIcannothelprisingupagainstfate,andcryingoutthatitishardthatallthisshouldhappentome.Why?WhathadIdonethatIshouldbedeniedthelittlehappinessofthisworld?WhyshouldIbemoreunhappythanothers?ButthenIchidemyself,andaskwhetherIhaveindeedbeenlesshappy.Aretheyanyofthemhappy?Orarethoserightwhosaythattheworldismisery,andthattheonlyhappinessistodie?Whoknows? Ah,Giulia,howIlovedthee! OCiechi,iltantoaffaticarchegiova?