HardlywasitshutwhenMrs.Challengerdartedoutfromthedining-room.Thesmallwomanwasinafurioustemper.Shebarredherhusband'swaylikeanenragedchickeninfrontofabulldog.Itwasevidentthatshehadseenmyexit,buthadnotobservedmyreturn.
"Youbrute,George!"shescreamed."You'vehurtthatniceyoungman."
Hejerkedbackwardswithhisthumb.
"Hereheis,safeandsoundbehindme."
Shewasconfused,butnotundulyso.
"Iamsosorry,Ididn'tseeyou."
"Iassureyou,madam,thatitisallright."
"Hehasmarkedyourpoorface!Oh,George,whatabruteyouare!Nothingbutscandalsfromoneendoftheweektotheother.Everyonehatingandmakingfunofyou.You'vefinishedmypatience.Thisendsit."
"Dirtylinen,"herumbled.
"It'snotasecret,"shecried."Doyousupposethatthewholestreet—thewholeofLondon,forthatmatter——Getaway,Austin,wedon'twantyouhere.Doyousupposetheydon'talltalkaboutyou?Whereisyourdignity?You,amanwhoshouldhavebeenRegiusProfessoratagreatUniversitywithathousandstudentsallreveringyou.Whereisyourdignity,George?"
"Howaboutyours,mydear?"
"Youtrymetoomuch.Aruffian—acommonbrawlingruffian—that'swhatyouhavebecome."
"Begood,Jessie."
"Aroaring,ragingbully!"
"That'sdoneit!Stoolofpenance!"saidhe.
Tomyamazementhestooped,pickedherup,andplacedhersittinguponahighpedestalofblackmarbleintheangleofthehall.Itwasatleastsevenfeethigh,andsothinthatshecouldhardlybalanceuponit.Amoreabsurdobjectthanshepresentedcockeduptherewithherfaceconvulsedwithanger,herfeetdangling,andherbodyrigidforfearofanupset,Icouldnotimagine.
"Letmedown!"shewailed.
"Say'please.'"
"Youbrute,George!Letmedownthisinstant!"
"Comeintothestudy,Mr.Malone."
"Really,sir——!"saidI,lookingatthelady.
"Here'sMr.Malonepleadingforyou,Jessie.Say'please,'anddownyoucome."
"Oh,youbrute!Please!please!"
Hetookherdownasifshehadbeenacanary.
"Youmustbehaveyourself,dear.Mr.MaloneisaPressman.Hewillhaveitallinhisragto-morrow,andsellanextradozenamongourneighbors.'Strangestoryofhighlife'—youfeltfairlyhighonthatpedestal,didyounot?Thenasub-title,'Glimpseofasingularmenage.'He'safoulfeeder,isMr.Malone,acarrioneater,likeallofhiskind—porcusexgregediaboli—aswinefromthedevil'sherd.That'sit,Malone—what?"
"Youarereallyintolerable!"saidI,hotly.
Hebellowedwithlaughter.
"Weshallhaveacoalitionpresently,"heboomed,lookingfromhiswifetomeandpuffingouthisenormouschest.Then,suddenlyalteringhistone,"Excusethisfrivolousfamilybadinage,Mr.Malone.Icalledyoubackforsomemoreseriouspurposethantomixyouupwithourlittledomesticpleasantries.Runaway,littlewoman,anddon'tfret."Heplacedahugehanduponeachofhe