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CHAPTER IV "It's Just the very Biggest Thing in the World"

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    rshoulders."Allthatyousayisperfectlytrue.IshouldbeabettermanifIdidwhatyouadvise,butIshouldn'tbequiteGeorgeEdwardChallenger.Thereareplentyofbettermen,mydear,butonlyoneG.E.C.Somakethebestofhim."Hesuddenlygaveheraresoundingkiss,whichembarrassedmeevenmorethanhisviolencehaddone."Now,Mr.Malone,"hecontinued,withagreataccessionofdignity,"thisway,ifYOUplease." Were-enteredtheroomwhichwehadleftsotumultuouslytenminutesbefore.TheProfessorclosedthedoorcarefullybehindus,motionedmeintoanarm-chair,andpushedacigar-boxundermynose. "RealSanJuanColorado,"hesaid."Excitablepeoplelikeyouarethebetterfornarcotics.Heavens!don'tbiteit!Cut—andcutwithreverence!Nowleanback,andlistenattentivelytowhateverImaycaretosaytoyou.Ifanyremarkshouldoccurtoyou,youcanreserveitforsomemoreopportunetime. "Firstofall,astoyourreturntomyhouseafteryourmostjustifiableexpulsion"—heprotrudedhisbeard,andstaredatmeasonewhochallengesandinvitescontradiction—"after,asIsay,yourwell-meritedexpulsion.Thereasonlayinyouranswertothatmostofficiouspoliceman,inwhichIseemedtodiscernsomeglimmeringofgoodfeelinguponyourpart—more,atanyrate,thanIamaccustomedtoassociatewithyourprofession.Inadmittingthatthefaultoftheincidentlaywithyou,yougavesomeevidenceofacertainmentaldetachmentandbreadthofviewwhichattractedmyfavorablenotice.Thesub-speciesofthehumanracetowhichyouunfortunatelybelonghasalwaysbeenbelowmymentalhorizon.Yourwordsbroughtyousuddenlyaboveit.Youswamupintomyseriousnotice.ForthisreasonIaskedyoutoreturnwithme,asIwasmindedtomakeyourfurtheracquaintance.YouwillkindlydeposityourashinthesmallJapanesetrayonthebambootablewhichstandsatyourleftelbow." Allthisheboomedforthlikeaprofessoraddressinghisclass.Hehadswungroundhisrevolvingchairsoastofaceme,andhesatallpuffedoutlikeanenormousbull-frog,hisheadlaidbackandhiseyeshalf-coveredbysuperciliouslids.Nowhesuddenlyturnedhimselfsideways,andallIcouldseeofhimwastangledhairwithared,protrudingear.Hewasscratchingaboutamongthelitterofpapersuponhisdesk.Hefacedmepresentlywithwhatlookedlikeaverytatteredsketch-bookinhishand. "IamgoingtotalktoyouaboutSouthAmerica,"saidhe."Nocommentsifyouplease.Firstofall,IwishyoutounderstandthatnothingItellyounowistoberepeatedinanypublicwayunlessyouhavemyexpresspermission.Thatpermissionwill,inallhumanprobability,neverbegiven.Isthatclear?" "Itisveryhard,"saidI."Surelyajudiciousaccount——" Hereplacedthenotebookuponthetable. "Thatendsit,"saidhe."Iwishyouaverygoodmorning." "No,no!"Icried."Isubmittoanyconditions.SofarasIcansee,Ihavenochoice." "Noneintheworld,"said
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